Peer Evaluation Essay Sample
The reporting format is clearly an informal report format. The outline and arrangement of ideas plus the choice of subheadings shows that this is an informal report.
Looking at the report, one can easily see the features that define an informal report. The convention follows that the following must be displayed; Title page, summary, Introduction, findings and recommendation(s). However, the findings have been omitted and thus the report loses its meaning. Efforts have been made to present the findings but they should have all been placed under that heading. The subheadings such as: “the relationship between fitness levels and worker’s motivation” and “the long term benefits of such a program to the company and its employees” has been used appropriately to further drive the point home.
The introduction has clearly explained the problem at hand and why it was important for the research to be done: It goes directly to state that lack of exercise and poor dietary has translated to lower work performance. The report then shifts focus to the urgency of a solution to address this problem at our work places. The section also allows one to know that the report has various recommendations which are vital for this section of the report.
The introduction has been used appropriately to explain the significance of the report. The main theme the report presents at this level is that at present, there is an urgent need for a work-based fitness initiative; Workers have never been o unfit, overweight and short of time. It is evident that everybody is trying to maintain a hectic work and life balance; which leaves people both exhausted and stressed with very little time to dedicate to exercise.
The section also explains why the researcher was asked to do the research. It also gives a summary of what follows after the introduction thus giving a clear preview of the report. For example, it mention’s: the level of interest at employee level and to the company and its employees, the relationship between fitness levels and worker’s motivation, and the cost of implementing this program, to both the company and to the employees. All this are subheadings that are to be found in the report. The boundaries have however not been clarified. It would have been good to know the extents to which the document will focus. The introduction makes an effort to give a preview of the report, dwells on the problem at hand and briefly mentions its implications e.g. the cost of implementing this program to both the company and employees.
The body gives the different angles on the situation. It further explains the situation with research evidence cited therein. It is thus logically arranged with appropriate sub headings. It has first explained the implication of fitness at employee level. The paragraph has well accomplished the message on how a happy employee is more productive. The second subheading explains the importance of the fitness program in the long term for both employee and company. This has been expounded to show that in the long run, the money the company would invest in buying equipment would be repaid by a better workforce
The in text citation has not been done in the right MLA format because it is clear the paper follows an MLA format. I would suggest in the place of replace with (Mike 6), that is the authors Surname followed by the page. From the citation used in the report, it is not clear where the citation comes from the book or the number of pages. In addition, the particular page is not stated. No direct quotes have been used and as such, there are no speech marks in the text.
The writer has done well to cite all the five sources in the body as this gives the reader a roadmap to where to find related information for further research. Topic sentences have been used to introduce ideas. The transition from one idea to another in the body gives the report a nice flow.
To introduce the section on the findings of the research, a heading could be introduced just after research methods. More research methods like questionnaires would have been used too and thus the findings section is best placed also before conclusions. The heading is thus better placed between research methods and conclusions to ensure the idea flows well.
The conclusion does not draw a lot from research findings as none have clearly been documented. It highlights the major points of employee performance and its relation to fitness and the importance of in-house gyms at work. There is no thorough explanation of what the findings mean. This section has been ignored. This is a section that I suggest would have come in the findings section.
In the recommendations section, there is attempt to suggest the measures but they have not been numbered. They should be numbered and each should start with a verb. The recommendations should also draw from the conclusion as solutions to the problem.
The recommendations are applicable but the tone is not convincing. Using the first person to recommend an official report made the tone very informal. The style should have remained professional from the beginning considering the formal nature of the document. The style is satisfactory but changes should be effected on the tone.
I recommend that the writer document the findings in a well labelled heading after the method of research. With this done, the conclusions and recommendations will fetch from the findings and thus create a good logical flow.